Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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