David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
