Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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