im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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