I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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