How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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