Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
