you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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