Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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