How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
