Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
