I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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