that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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