why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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