if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
