you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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