Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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