my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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