i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
