Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
