Those balls look pretty dangerous.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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