My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
