Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
