I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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