awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
