What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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