I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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