after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
