An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
