I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
