You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
