do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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