He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
