Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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