That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
