Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
