I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
