I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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