Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
