Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ketchup is God's man juice
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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