508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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