Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
