I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
