no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
