i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Rumble strips road head = magical
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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