I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
