thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
