Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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