At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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