This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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