I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
