dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
