Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize