yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i think my tv is drunk
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
