so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
