uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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