How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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