2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
