Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
foreskin is a definite game changer
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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