I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So here I am, sexting at work.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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