Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize