I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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