I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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